It is a privilege to be here to pay tribute to my mother. She is probably overwhelmed seeing how many of you are here today.
When Dad and I met with Bishop Baker, he told us how his children were asking which Primary Teacher had died. As he described her, they realized who it was, and said, “Oh, the laughing teacher.”
That is how many of us remember Mom. Friends have commented on her smile, her laughter, and best of all, the love they felt from her. She spread happiness, and many have remarked that she “always treated me like she loved me.”
Perhaps the best tribute I read was “Being her friend was like being encircled in the arms of the Savior’s love.” “She made life seem like a sweet, happy party and each person feel like the guest of honor.”
A good friend of mine pointed out that we, Mom’s posterity, are a living breathing tribute to Mom, and he loves Mom because of what I became.
She is survived by a loving, devoted husband, Ronald Dee Stevenson, a younger brother, Robert Harvey Peart, by five children, 26 grandchildren and 17 great-grandchildren. She was preceded in death by her older brother Donald Aris Peart, a grandson, Robert D. Stevenson, Jr., and a great-grandson, Andrew John Love.
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Virginia Ellen Stevenson came from pioneer stock. That probably doesn’t surprise anyone who knows her. One grandmother was Swedish, the other grandparents were of British descent. Her parents were both Salt Lake City natives, but came to California on their honeymoon, ran out of money, and stayed. Mom was born in San Leandro on 10 August 1936, the second of three children born to John Aris Peart and Evelyn Gertrude Cox. In 1942, she and her family moved to Los Angeles, where her father was working. By 1947, they had put down roots in Los Angeles.
When Mom started kindergarten, she said she cried every day on her way to school. Soon her mother made her walk to school alone, and then the crying stopped. This is hard to imagine in light of the Virginia Stevenson we all know.
Before Mom started third grade, a mean girl told her that her new teacher, Mrs. Darnell, wasn’t nice and would flunk her. Her mom consoled her, and mom soon learned that Mrs. Darnell was a wonderful teacher who provided many opportunities for her students to learn. They kept in contact with each other for many years afterward.
Mom couldn’t wait to be baptized, and wrote of how good it felt to be baptized a member of the Church. Even at that early age, she was developing a strong faith and testimony. For a time after that, her family wasn’t active in the Church, but when she turned 12, a loving leader invited her to MIA, and she has been active ever since. Her first calling came at age 13, as a helper in the 5-year-old Primary class.
At age 14, Mom went on her first temple excursion. Four adults and six girls went to the Mesa Arizona Temple to do baptisms. (You have to remember that for many years, we were in the Mesa Temple District, until the Los Angeles Temple was dedicated.) She writes “I had such a peaceful feeling as we went into the [temple] and then sat and listened as one of the sister temple workers talked about the important things of our church.” She added: “It helped me know my goal of going to the Temple was what I really wanted.” How thankful we all are that set this goal early on and remained true to it. She also had the opportunity to serve in the Open House for the Los Angeles Temple prior to its dedication.
Mom worked hard to earn her various awards as she progressed in MIA. She sewed many of her own dresses, and knitted things for her family as well. She babysat frequently and worked at Karl’s 5 and 10. She balanced all of this with school and family activities.
In junior high, Mom began to be involved in student government. She was president of a service club in junior high, and continued to be busy in high school activities, including the Hostess Club, Student Senate, Girl’s League and other activities.
She writes that she was sometimes torn between her friends in student activities and her friends in church.
Mom began modern dance in tenth grade. She loved basketball, too, but dance was better for her asthma. She was able to dance in many performances including competitions at University of Redlands and other colleges.
Mom was a good student, too, and won the Bank of America Achievement Award in Business Education and in Vocational Arts.
In 1954, she left for BYU and quickly became involved in student government and other activities. She took advantage of all the activities that life at BYU had to offer, social and spiritual, and of course, educational. She formed many lasting friendships there.
After two years, she decided to come home and complete her studies at UCLA in order to be with her family, but she said that had she known her brother Don would get married so soon, she probably would have stayed at BYU, partly because she was in line to become student body secretary.
However, as luck (or fate) would have it, she became involved in Lambda Delta Sigma, and this led to her meeting Dad. They were married in the Los Angeles Temple on 29 August 1958. She also graduated from UCLA in June 1958.
Dad and Mom headed to Provo so Dad could finish his degree. Mom writes that she found their first basement apartment dreary and disappointing, but after unpacking their things and making cookies and seeing where others lived, they were glad to be there. They came home for summer break, so I was born in Inglewood instead of in Provo.
After another year, Mom and Dad returned to California, living first in Downey, then in the Baldwin Hills area, where we lived when Vicki, Bonnie and Mike were born. During this time, Dad was called to serve in a Bishopric, and Mom served as a Primary teacher. Mom loved her Primary girls. After Mike was born, she wanted to get back to her class as soon as she could so they wouldn’t give it to someone else. But when they knew she was coming back, she was called to serve in the Primary Presidency.
Around this time, Dad and Mom began preparations for a move to Huntington Beach. In 1965, they purchased the home where Mom lived until her death, for the astronomical sum of $29,500. Actually, that was a lot of money in 1965, and they felt that they had stretched themselves pretty thin. We moved in September 1965, and became one of the founding families in the Huntington Beach Second Ward and the Huntington Beach Stake. Here also, Chrissy was born, to complete our family until we started getting married.
(I could talk about Primary in the “tin shack,” and sacrament meetings in the Huntington Beach Recreation Center before this building was built, but this is about Mom.) Her first callings here were also in the Primary: teaching, then in the ward presidency, then in the Stake Primary Presidency. The rest, you know.
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I would like to change focus now, from what Mom did, to who she was. I have found that in studying the lives of others, we can learn many things about bettering our own lives. As I review this, it is difficult to separate Mom from Dad. They were an amazing example of unity and love. So much of what I will now say applies to both. They were, and are, and will be forever, a team; an eternal partnership.
There are some characteristics Mom displayed that we can all emulate.
- LOVE: Mom was a great example of selfless love. That is probably why many of you are here today.
a. There was never any question that she loved Dad. When he came home from work, she greeted him as if he had returned from months at sea. She also honored him in his role as priesthood leader in our home. That was very clear to us.
b. There was never any question that she loved us. That was apparent to all. She took pride in her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and in their accomplishments. She repeatedly told us that we were good parents and that made her feel proud.
c. Mom loved us even when we disappointed her. We tried not to do that very often, because I know I did not like to see the hurt in her eyes. The funny thing is, as Mom grew older, I became the perfect son. She said many times that I never gave her a bit of trouble when I was growing up. (She also taught me not to argue with my parents.)
d. We felt her love whenever we were leaving to go home. In our family, an old tradition developed called the “Peart goodbye.” There may have been a similar tradition in some of your families. It seemed like it took forever to actually say goodbye to everyone and get on the road. There was always one more hug and one more kiss. And even as we drove away, Mom would blow kisses and give hugs until we were down the street. I wish she would have indulged us in a Peart goodbye last weekend.
e. Mom was one of those people who could make almost anyone feel like she was their best friend. That is a special gift. It seems that she made everyone feel that they were family, whether they were blood relatives or not.
- HIGH EXPECTATIONS: Her love was manifest to us through these expectations she had for us.
a. Mom, as many mothers do, had a vision of our potential. She knew what we could become and encouraged us to discover the path to get there. I think this is because she was goal-driven herself.
b. Each accomplishment, no matter how small, was recognized. Whether it was a baby’s first steps or a scholastic achievement, Mom would be excited. She would praise us, and often brag to others as well.
c. She encouraged us to develop our talents. Each of took piano lessons, and as children, we had no idea what a blessing this would be to others. The same is true for my sisters’ skills in homemaking and crafts, and other skills we learned as well.
d. We were expected to be married in the temple and to get an education. Mike and I were expected to serve missions. As a girl, she set goals to be married in the temple and to go to BYU, and worked hard to achieve those and other goals.
e. She expected us to do well in studies, in Scouting and in Mutual.
f. Half-hearted efforts were not tolerated. I learned this as an eight-year-old. Dad had back problems, and I started mowing the lawns. Mom made it clear that they had to be done just so. I could not be sloppy or leave unmowed strips anywhere. Attention to detail was important.
- TEACHING: A mother is always teaching.
a. When I think of Mom, I always think of the poem that ends: “Richer than I you can never be: For I had a mother who read to me.” Mom taught us to read, and I recall many happy summer hours reading with her.
b. Mom also told stories. We can still recite the story of the Three Billy Goats Gruff, of the little piggy who wouldn’t jump over the stile, and the “Story of Jack Anorry.” And many others. I’m sure the grandchildren know these stories, too.
c. We took regular trips together to the library. During the summer, we went every week.
d. Mom taught us all basic homemaking skills, and even some advanced ones. I remember learning how to make white sauce. We learned how to set the table and how to clean house. We took turns helping her do the dishes after Sunday dinner. I didn’t realize it then, but it was an opportunity for her to visit with us as we worked.
e. Mom taught us to do needlework. I learned to do cross-stitch when I was very young, and also learned some embroidery. She didn’t realize it then, but she was teaching me a useful career skill. Every time I place sutures in someone’s mouth, I think of Mom. In fact, the sewing is so engrained in us, that when we were discussing which hymns to sing today, Vicki suggested we sing “We Are Sewing.”
f. Mom also taught us the gospel. She and Dad taught us together. We had our first family home evening when I was about four, and we all continue the habit. She and Dad also taught by example. When I was young, I remember going visiting teaching with Mom. In fact, we were visiting a sister on our street the day Kennedy was shot (I was four), and I can remember that sister’s upset that day. Mom and Dad took the gospel very seriously.
- FUN: Teaching and learning can also be fun, and Mom saw to that for us.
a. Mom frequently played games with us. Sometimes she just refereed them.
b. We (and the grandchildren as well) would frequently pull the couches apart and make blanket forts and have adventures in the family room.
c. Mom enjoyed cooking with the kids, even when the results weren’t optimal. I remember her excitement about 20-month-old Emily being able to crack eggs without getting the shells in the dough.
d. Mom always had cookies or some other treat around for us or for visitors. She enjoyed baking.
e. Mom had a good sense of humor. She even laughed at my jokes. And some of my jokes were old when she was young.
f. According to Scotty, the happiest place on earth is not in Anaheim. He said it is “Grandma’s house!”
- INTUITION: Mom always knew what was going on with us. We could not hide a thing.
a. It was an old Peart family joke that we needed to buy Mom a “fur-lined cookie jar.” She could be upstairs in her bathroom and still hear me getting a cookie, no matter how quiet I was. How do moms do that? I know she inherited that skill from her mother, but still.
b. Both Mike and I became seriously ill on our missions. Communication was difficult, and our Mission Presidents were nearly silent, but Mom knew.
c. When I struggled in college, Mom knew. Her radar was amazing. Of course, that was good motivation for me to be a good boy.
- SERVICE: Of course, Mom showed her love readily through serving others.
a. Mom lived to serve, and it began at home. She made many sacrifices for us.
b. At times, it seemed that she lived in the kitchen. She was always baking something or fixing a casserole for someone. And of course there was some for us as well.
c. Mom loved doing for others. Food, treats, sewing, quilting, knitting, crocheting, and on and on. One event that touched me was when Mom, Vicki and Chrissy had a sewing marathon to make missionary dresses and jumpers for Eliza before she left on her mission. I got teary then, and still do, as I think about it. The torch has been passed.
- CHURCH ACTIVITY: Mom showed her love through church activity, and this has several facets.
a. We all attended our meetings together – happily. Now prior to 1980, that meant that we were continually coming and going from one meeting to the next. Mutual was always on a weeknight. Relief Society was a weekday meeting, as was Primary. Sunday meetings were spread throughout the day. We did it all and had time for service in between. And we did it with a smile.
b. Mom supported Dad in his church callings. I don’t ever recall hearing her complain. Now I have to say, that after reading her personal history, perhaps this was because she also had many demanding callings and knew what he was up against. But the fact remains that he felt her support every time he went to “one more meeting.”
c. Mom wasn’t afraid of the challenging callings. She served in every class, in every calling in Primary, including 11-year-old Scout Leader, nursery, and Stake Primary leadership. She served in the Young Women’s organization, as a Den Mother, in the ward Relief Society, and as “Relief Society Queen,” the Stake Relief Society President. She learned from her leaders, and she surrounded herself with strong leaders when she was in charge.
d. Mom’s biggest concern with her callings, apart from stepping out of her comfort zone, was the time she would have to spend away from us. But as I look back, I don’t feel that we were neglected. She still had time for us.
e. Mom enlisted our help in fulfilling her callings. I served with her in her Scouting roles. We would help with set up and with decorations and other projects.
f. She supported us in our church callings and encouraged us to magnify our callings.
g. Along with Dad, Mom was exemplary in temple attendance and family history efforts. They attended the temple monthly when that meant making the long trek up the 405 to the LA Temple. Frequently they performed ordinances for family members.
h. Mom loved her family, her ancestors and their traditions. She loved to share her memories of various ancestors and the things they did. I loved hearing their stories. Emily also commented on this. What a privilege it is to feel that my ancestors are real people and not just names on a chart. I will always appreciate mom’s and Dad’s efforts to preserve that for their posterity.
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Mom set a great example for each of us. Some things she didn’t do: she didn’t overindulge us; she didn’t compare us to others; she didn’t unfairly criticize us.
The challenge for each of us as her posterity is to remember her example and to carry on the traditions that she has established. In particular, we should strive to love as she loves, and to serve as she serves.
We honor her legacy as we continue to build on it. That is no small order. I can see it in the lives of my siblings even now.
I know with all my heart and soul that Mom is only separated from us by a thin veil. She is aware of our sorrows at her departure. But be assured that this is only temporary. We will see her again. At her father’s funeral, it was said that he had gone on ahead to help build our mansions in heaven. Mom is there to help decorate them.
I pray that we will live our lives so that we can be reunited with her in eternal joy and happiness in the kingdom of our Heavenly Father.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
